Meet Amazon’s #1 Best Selling Corgi

See for yourself what all the barking is about. Join thousands of readers laughing through the surreal, pensive, and dangerously funny poetry of neurotic canine genius Barkolomew Twain (aka Bark Twain).

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Barkolomew the dog poet sitting with a thoughtful expression

What's Your Dog's Poetic Personality?

Take our 60-second quiz to discover your dog's unique archetype

Unleash your dog's inner poet! Our fun quiz analyses your dog's quirks and habits to match them with one of four poetic archetypes.

You'll get a personalised poem that captures your dog's one-of-a-kind spirit.

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Critical Acclaim

The Verdict from Both Ends of the Leash

Feedback from verified humans and the four-legged philosophers who actually lived the poems.

The Human Perspective

" Barkolomew’s high-minded intellectual inner world constantly clashes with the simple, messy reality of being a dog. It’s a funny, clever, and complete story from start to finish. "

John

Amazon

Reviewer

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" This book is a Trojan Horse. It pretends to be a simple comedy book, but it's secretly a new fantasy universe... This is comedy that respects the reader's intelligence. "

Huw

Amazon

Reviewer

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" Barkolomew's internal monologues are like perfectly crafted scenes from a Pixar movie... This is a brilliant, funny, and surprisingly cinematic world. Highly recommended! "

Kenny

Amazon

Reviewer

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The Canine Critique

" Finally, a book that takes squirrels seriously. I've always known they were untrustworthy oligarchs, and now I have the academic proof. A masterpiece. "

Winston, a Bulldog

Advance Reader (Canine)

" I wept. The 'Ode on a Squeaky Toy' perfectly captures the tragic cycle of love and destruction that defines my life. Finally, an artist who understands my pain. Five stars. "

Luna, a Beagle Mix

Advance Reader (Canine)

" I took the personality test and discovered I'm a 'Revolutionary Poet'. It's been incredibly empowering. The postman now takes my formal protests far more seriously. "

Barnaby, a Terrier

Quiz Taker (Canine)

Welcome to the Curator's Archive

The translations are an ongoing project. Follow the evidence as it's discovered.

The Official Show: "Behind The Bark"

The definitive documentary series, featuring full poetic translations and deep dives into the mind of the artist. The primary home of Barkolomew's work.

Watch the Full Series on YouTube